At a certain point on the “path,” the individual’s capacity becomes such that an irreversible commitment can be made. This commitment is akin to the Bodhisattva vow; it is the anchoring down of a newly-established orientation towards the service of All.
Glimpses of the effect of this commitment may come from time to time, and the individual may sense what will occur if he or she does indeed follow through. This is the key - To follow through and affirm the commitment.
So much must be gone through in the lead up to and during this process. The deep rooted and systematic self-interest and narcissism prevalent in the self and collective must be faced. The helplessness of feeling useless within the larger picture must be endured. And so much more.
The heart literally must break and then expand in order for the commitment to be made. Indeed, without the heartbreak and subsequent expansion, there is no energy to sustain the commitment. This energy, which can feel like heart-fire, is what gives the individual enough courage and passion to go through the full reorientation.
In my own journey, this heart-fire is very alive. I have also felt myself moving closer towards making the full commitment to serve All. I feel courage in this process as my glimpses up until now have shown me what happens when I give my-self over. I am flooded with an ecstasy that is beyond rationality; the heart-fire rejoices by spreading everywhere when I give what I am scared to give.
We are all facing some degree of fear around giving. This could be giving love in a relationship. It could be giving time. It could be giving money. In most cases this fear is borne out of losing our sense of identity - the separate self.
“If I truly let you love me, that means I have to let my guard down, and that is the unknown and I do not want that.”
“If I truly love you, that means I have to give up all of my expectations and pretences and avoidances and self-rejection fears, and that is too threatening and I do not want that.”
“You are asking me for help, which would require time and potentially my own money. I can’t afford to do that; what about me? What about my survival? Will I have enough?”
The separate self is powerfully threatened by the entirety of giving. The gradual movement into and then affirmed commitment to serve All marks the full merging into the Whole. At this point, the individual is quite literally giving everything he or she can, while stripped of all motivation to receive anything back.
This is the difficulty of the process. So much must be gone through and (more often than not) for little to no external reward. The only guaranteed reward is the strengthening of the individual’s heart-fire that rejoices in the giving of itself.
Right now, I feel I am entering into this new phase even more strongly. Prepared to give even more. Prepared to hand it over to the All. Prepared to wake everyday and do what I can, before the day is out, to serve as fully as I can.
The commitment is imminent. I am feeling it more and more each day.
